I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
