Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
