To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
