i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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