Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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