he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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