Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm really into asian looking animals
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When are your genitals available?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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