I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
When are your genitals available?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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