He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
you never un-have a 4some
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
