Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
