"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
vagina is talking i cant
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
false alarm, still single
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
