U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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