I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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