Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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