I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize