New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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