I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
