maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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