Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?

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(517): View more from Michigan

He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs

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(573): View more from Missouri

He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.

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(904): View more from Florida

But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.

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(716): View more from New York

We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??

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(407): View more from Florida

You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.

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