She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
