I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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