Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
All I want is dick and wine.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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