my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
