Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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