I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
