You kept calling me your small dog last night.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
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I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
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Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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