If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize