do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
