I feel great
I just peed on a car
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
