If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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