How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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