ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
