Can i not drive my cunt home
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
