tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
