I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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