Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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