did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
