Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
