apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
