someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
