Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
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It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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