who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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