I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
