So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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