remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
