Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
