wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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