It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize