Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
