I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
