Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
