I don't think brook has ever known best
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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