did you get engaged???
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
