so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
