you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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