Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
