I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
