Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
