We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
