we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
