So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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